We'll Miss You, Viggo!

So, I do this thing sometimes. It's a little embarrassing, and without the anonymity of the internet I would never admit to it. When I'm watching late night talk shows (mostly Conan), I imagine that I'm a guest on the show. Seriously. I'm not quite sure why I'm there because I have no aspirations that would lead to Late Night notoriety, but I practice my banter and humorous anecdotes and witty asides to the other guests.

Chatting with the other guests is where I really shine. Obviously I tailor my specific behavior to the specific guests. If it's someone ridiculous, like Paris Hilton or Heidi What's Her Face, I freeze them cold while occasionally throwing out remarks that on the surface seem innocuous, but in actuality cut them to the core, sending them into a shame spiral, leading them to abandon their famewhorish ways and devote themselves to a life of service in some far off place with no cameras. I flirt and tease and just genuinely charm everyone else. Well, everyone else except Viggo Mortensen.

This is a little bit strange, because imaginary talk show me is a pretty cool cucumber. I keep my head with mega movie stars and world leaders. Clooney and Cameron are just fine. I got into a level-headed policy debate with Obama. But one night I was watching Conan or some such show and Viggo Mortensen was the guest and imaginary me was all blush and giggles. I literally could not talk except to say over and over, "Oh my gosh, that's Viggo Mortensen. He was Aragorn. I'm sorry. I didn't know I'd react like this." I even held my hand up to my face so that I didn't have to look at him because I was so in awe. He is the one celebrity imaginary me is too intimidated to face. And, really, can you blame me? In addition to his Lord of the Rings awesomeness, he's an amazing actor, poet, photographer, artist, and musician. In interviews he comes off as a kind, humble, principled human being.

So I was sad when I read that he told the Times of London that he might be done acting. "No more movies. I haven't said yes to one in over a year. If it all dries up now, I've had a good run." Yes sir, you have had a good run, and I'd really like to see it continue. But if you aren't passionate about the projects coming your way, then I wish you well in your creative endeavors. I'm sure they'll by amazing and awe-inspiring.